Atalissa family raising awareness in remembrance of son
by Lindsay Hoeppner · October 21, 2009

Kenneth Regennitter was the perfect baby.

At least, he was to his parents, Bryan Regennitter and Amanda Gosnell of rural Atalissa.

Born May 11, Kenneth weighed 6 pounds, 7 ounces.

“He was healthy; everything was fine,” Amanda said. “He was growing like a weed.”

Bryan and Amanda had no indication Kenneth’s life was about to take a turn for the worse.



Kenneth’s story

Thursday, Aug. 20 was just like any other day at the Regennitter household.

“I nursed him in my bed, which was what I always did first thing in the morning,” Amanda said. “He was laying on his side, and we snuggled for a little while, until I slipped out of bed to take care of the other four kids that were here.”

Bryan went back to check on Kenneth and noticed he had rolled over onto his stomach.

Because Kenneth had been rolling over since he was 5 weeks old, Amanda didn’t worry too much about it, and the two continued to check on him frequently.

“The last time I checked on him, I went in there and laid down next to him. I put my hand on his back, and he wiggled,” Amanda said. “I kissed him and told him that I loved him.”

Amanda went into the kitchen, two rooms over, and began sewing a baby blanket for Bryan’s sister.

Around 11:30 a.m., she checked on Kenneth once again.

“He was face down and gray. I grabbed his arm and flipped him over,” Amanda said. “I don’t remember how I made it from my side of the bed outside.”

Screaming for Bryan, Amanda ran back inside and gave him a rescue breath until Bryan took over with cardiopulmonary resuscitation and instructed Amanda to call 911.

“I called, and the lady said, ‘911, what’s your emergency?’” Amanda said. “I was hysterical at that point.”



So hysterical, she couldn’t finish the phone call.



Instead, Rick Butler — a friend of Bryan’s and a co-worker at his business, Regennitter Farms — took over.



Bryan continued CPR until an ambulance from West Liberty arrived.



“When the paramedic got in, he told Bryan he needed to step out,” Amanda said. “Bryan is a very strong guy, and he just crumbled after that.”



The couple followed the ambulance to University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics in Iowa City.



Emergency room doctors continued CPR on Kenneth while Amanda and Bryan had him baptized.



It wasn’t enough, though.



Kenneth was pronounced dead at 12:24 p.m.



“They took us up to the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit), and everybody that wanted to could say their goodbyes,” Amanda said. “That was the hardest thing to do — to watch Bryan lay Kenneth on the bed and walk away.”



Hospital staff provided Bryan and Amanda with a bundle of grief books and sympathy bracelets.



“Instead of coming home with a baby, I came home with books,” Amanda said. “That was the absolute hardest thing, but I know that the people that responded and the people that worked on him did everything they could. I have nobody to blame.”



After they left the hospital, Bryan lowered the flag at their home to half-staff.



Kenneth was taken to Ankeny, where an autopsy was conducted. The cause of death was classified as positional asphyxiation.



“They don’t know why, but babies between 2- and 4-months-old will turn their heads into the blanket and lose oxygen,” Amanda said. “They get confused and for some reason don’t turn their heads back like an adult would.”



Raising awareness

Since Kenneth’s death, Bryan and Amanda have been approached by countless supporters.



“People came out of the woodwork that I didn’t even know had lost kids,” Amanda said. “It’s just something people don’t talk about.”



But Bryan and Amanda didn’t want to bury Kenneth’s story along with his body. They wanted to be heard.



“We talk about Kenneth all the time,” Amanda said.



That’s not all.



Their household is flooded with pictures from Kenneth’s three months and nine days on Earth, the two also sport T-shirts in memory of their infant son and have adorned their cars with honorary stickers.



What’s more, Bryan and Amanda want to keep Kenneth’s memory alive by raising awareness about infant deaths.



On Thursday, Oct. 15, the couple acknowledged Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day by participating in a candle lighting ceremony in Davenport.



October is also SIDS Awareness Month, and, although Kenneth did not die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, Bryan and Amanda want people to become more educated on the unpreventable cause of death.



“It can happen to anyone,” Amanda said.



According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, SIDS “is the sudden death of an infant under 1 year of age which remains unexplained after a thorough case investigation, including performance of a complete autopsy, examination of the death scene and review of the clinical history.”



Although SIDS is not preventable, the risk can be reduced by following these guidelines outlined by the HRSA:



Make sure that everyone who cares for your baby puts the baby on his or her back to sleep;

use a firm, tight-fitting mattress in a crib that meets current safety standards;

remove pillows, quilts, comforters, sheepskins, stuffed toys and other soft products from the crib;

dress your baby in sleep clothing so that you will not have to use any other covering over the baby;

place your baby so that his or her feet are at the bottom of the crib;

tuck a thin blanket around the bottom of the crib mattress, reaching only as far as the baby’s chest;

make sure the baby’s head remains uncovered during sleep;

keep your baby warm, but not too warm;

make sure that everyone who cares for your baby understands the dangers of soft bedding;

avoid adult beds, waterbeds, sofas or other soft surfaces for sleep.



For additional information on SIDS and infant death, and for a list of state SIDS coordinators, visit the National SIDS/Infant Death Resource Center Web site at www.sidscenter.org.



Lasting legacy

While nights and mornings remain hard for Bryan and Amanda, as that was when they would spend the most time with Kenneth, they are doing their best to adjust to life without him.



Amanda has three children from a previous marriage — Dakota, Dalton and Jaxson, and Bryan has one — Kody.



“They all have their own ideas,” Amanda said. “Dakota says he’s above us. Jaxson says he’s in his heart. Dalton says Kenneth and heaven are on the moon.”



No matter, not having Kenneth in their lives is hard on Amanda and Bryan, especially because he was their first child together.



“People say that time will help; that we’ll heal, but it’s like a handicap. If you’re missing an arm, you learn to live with having only one arm. We’re going to have to learn to live with the pain and heartache,” Amanda said. “I don’t think anybody really knows what having a broken heart is until you lose a child.”



Amanda was particularly moved by the message Rev. Henry Meyers delivered at Kenneth’s funeral on Aug. 25.



“He said, ‘What life it must have been to only know love,’” Amanda said. “I find comfort in that, because he did — he only knew love. He was never told, ‘No.’ Nobody ever said anything hateful to him.”



To pay tribute to Kenneth, Amanda and Bryan held a benefit for him and plan to use the money raised to obtain a bench that will be placed next to his grave at Springdale Cemetery in Springdale.



Kenneth’s room remains almost exactly the same as when he left it just two months ago.



Bryan and Amanda are simply taking life one day at a time.



“I found this saying, ‘An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby’s birth. Then whispered as she closed the book, ‘Too beautiful for Earth,’’” Amanda said. “Every time I read that, it makes sense, because he was — he was perfect.”