|Not much of a party anymore|
by By Jesse Mullen · December 06, 2012
Weíve heard your cry for help. We know youíre suffering and have gotten in over your head with Tea Party politics and the fundamentalist right.
We know youíre angry and hurt.
You didnít know eight years in power would destroy your credibility for the next decade. Or that ignoring your fiscal principles while selling out to fringe conspiracy theorists would make us uncomfortable around you.
We want you to know, itíll be okay. We want to see you succeed and we do appreciate many of the things youíve done for us in the past.
Youíve gotten really creepy lately.
In order to rebuild our relationship here are a few things weíd like to see you work on:
1. The Gays. Theyíre here, theyíre queer, get used to it. We donít care and we think itís weird that you care so much.
2. Minorities. Youíre about to be one, a little empathy would be useful.
3. Womenís Rights. We had this conversation once already, you were wrong last time and waiting 35 years to bring it up again didnít make you right.
4. Healthcare. Think about how happy your are with your private insurance company and then compare it to your feelings toward your public post office. Spend a little less time gutting one of our greatest institutions and a little more time trying to improve our quality of life.
And probably most importantly:
5. Science. Global warming is real and a lot of the Bible isnít literal. Even Pat Robertson agrees, the Earth isnít 6,000 years old.